Note to Self # 3: Claustrophilia

I am a claustrophile. Yes, you read that right, claustrophile. If you would ask my trusty friend, Wikipedia, a claustrophile is a person that is claustrophilic (duh) or someone who loves closed-in spaces. Most people I know are claustrophobic, the total opposite of my condition. To be honest, I’m not as comfortable in wide spaces as compared to closed spaces and right now, in my gigantic room (well my whole flat is my room right now so…) im not as comfortable as I was in my old room back in the old house, but worry not, I can still live with wide spaces.

As to the reason why I’m like this… it’s probably because of my introvertedness which I would talk about some other time, and a personal past. To be honest, i don’t want to talk about it because of reasons. Let’s just say it made me this way. And for the past few years, (basically nearly  my whole life until now) I’ve lived in small places, be it a 20 sq. meter condominium, a bed spacer, a small room in a house I didn’t own, you name it. I guess I just got so used to it that it became a part of who I am.

Getting in closed spaces makes me feel secure. It makes me feel assured that I am safe and that I have a grasp at the immediate surroundings. It makes me feel that I know what I am looking at and what I can work with. I can control what happens in this small area that marks my territory, since I’m not a risk taker. I don’t like being unsure whether thing will turn out this way or that way. As I probably have stated in my other blog post, I’m a perfectionist. I like things prim and proper. I want things to go the way I like them to, and if it wouldn’t, then I’d rather not do them at all.

For those of you who are claustrophobic, I don’t know what you feel. If you’re kind enough, can you share your experiences to me? I’d like to know about what you experience being in closed-in spaces. You could probably message me or comment down below so I could read it. For those of you who are claustrophilic as well, whether you felt different or the same, tell me about it okay 🙂 .

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